clousems fights corruption! • page 1/1 • Team clousems • lichess.org

Not too long ago, I was at a bar. I was drinking an IPA. It was bad, but not terrible. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give it a 4. As I was drinking, a guy sat down next to me. I introduced myself. We struck up a nice conversation about the weather. He told me about how much horsepower his Dodge Charger had, while I silently thought up ways that we, as a society, should come together and collectively punish those who think it's interesting to discuss how much horsepower a vehicle has*. At length, though, he said something awful-- he said that Bedřich Smetana was the greatest Czech composer of all time.

Obviously, this is complete bullshit. We all know that Dvořák was far superior.

So, I confronted the man. "Now, listen, sir," I said, "I think you may be forgetting that one of Smetana's contemporaries was Antonín Dvořák, a much superior Czech composer." The man informed me that he considered Dvořák to be highly overrated. This was the last straw. I came at him with a left cross, catching him off guard. While he was still reeling, I shot in for a double-leg takedown. He tried to escape my side-mount, but this idiot was obviously as unfamiliar with jujitsu as he was with The New World Symphony, and I placed him in a kimura, and only let go after I heard a few pops. At that point, I stood up and soccer kicked him in the back of the head a few times, and shouted "Where is your polka god now, asshole?!"

Later, I found out he was corrupt.

*I came to the conclusion that they should be electrocuted with their car battery, FYI.

As we all know, clousems is a champion against corruption, so long as it benefits him. Recently, I was approached about my fights for justice, and I realized "Damn, I really haven't talked about my fights for justice since the GCROFCPRC... days". So, I will tell some tales of my fights with corrupt people. Not too long ago, I was at a bar. I was drinking an IPA. It was bad, but not terrible. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give it a 4. As I was drinking, a guy sat down next to me. I introduced myself. We struck up a nice conversation about the weather. He told me about how much horsepower his Dodge Charger had, while I silently thought up ways that we, as a society, should come together and collectively punish those who think it's interesting to discuss how much horsepower a vehicle has*. At length, though, he said something awful-- he said that Bedřich Smetana was the greatest Czech composer of all time. Obviously, this is complete bullshit. We all know that Dvořák was far superior. So, I confronted the man. "Now, listen, sir," I said, "I think you may be forgetting that one of Smetana's contemporaries was Antonín Dvořák, a much superior Czech composer." The man informed me that he considered Dvořák to be highly overrated. This was the last straw. I came at him with a left cross, catching him off guard. While he was still reeling, I shot in for a double-leg takedown. He tried to escape my side-mount, but this idiot was obviously as unfamiliar with jujitsu as he was with The New World Symphony, and I placed him in a kimura, and only let go after I heard a few pops. At that point, I stood up and soccer kicked him in the back of the head a few times, and shouted "Where is your polka god now, asshole?!" Later, I found out he was corrupt. *I came to the conclusion that they should be electrocuted with their car battery, FYI.